London: Where I Died and Went to Heaven

Just across the pond, you can, in fact,
enter heaven on Earth.

My husband and I recently returned from 10 days away, in Europe, with my in-laws. Along with my brother-in-law, his wife, and their 3-year-old. And yes, we no doubt resembled this bunch. Except there were more of us.

By some miracle of God, we did not all gouge one another's eyes out, as I may have initially expected.

Thankfully, my husband and I enjoyed some alone time here and there, separate from the fam (as so wisely prescribed in this recent TravelDudes blog entry.) And so all in all, it turned out to be a very lovely trip.

I am lucky enough to have a friend in London named Brian (known to many of us back home as Stu), whom I hadn't seen in nearly 10 years. Nowadays, Stu is happily basking in the historic beauty of London, no doubt drinking pints upon pints of delicious local beer on a regular basis, taking in the sights, and generally enjoying the heck out of this ridiculously fabulous city with his wife and newborn daughter. 

We couldn't wait to take full advantage of our alone time to meet up with this lucky bastard and have him show us around.

Eat anything this man recommends.

Stu did not disappoint. In fact, I am fairly certain he may have missed his calling as a tour guide. With the aid of his meticulous directions, provided along with his cell phone number just in case, we found our way to London's Borough Market. 

There, outside the Market Porter, a popular pub, where droves of British businessmen gathered outside during their Friday lunch hour to chat amiably over freshly draught pints of beer (seriously, what bastards!), we were reunited.

After catching up over an ale or two, we followed Stu into what, for foodies, has got to be the center of the universe.

Freakishly large rabbit, no?

Borough Market is an outdoor food market overflowing with fresh, um, everything - vegetables, meats, seafood, baked goods, cheeses, breads, and the list goes on and on. The variety is dizzying. A local guide (a la Stu) comes in very handy.

Today's Stefcations Highlights:

• What You'll Find: Foodie Nirvana.
• Where You'll Find it: Borough Market, London, England. Check out the map for the layout of the various stands.
• When to Go: Open Thursdays, 11-5; Fridays, 12-6; and Saturdays, 8-5.
• What It'll Cost: Whatever you like. Go nuts, or just indulge in the Greatest Grilled Cheese Known to Man for a few measly British pounds. Bring cash. Probably easier that way.

Stu offered up a number of options. We couldn't make up our minds on what sounded best to eat, so we told him to bring us to all of them. 

And eat we did.

I won't bore you with all the details. But I will tell you the facts in a nutshell: where to go, what to eat, and why.

The Guildable's lamb creation.
We were this excited, and we hadn't even eaten it yet.

1. Northfield Farm. Grilled ground pork-and-stilton burger, with the option to add sauteed onions. Sizzling, juicy, amazing combo of flavors, with the cheese embedded right in there so that it'll melt in with the meat. Wow. Just wow. (P.S. The meat there is raised humanely. Another plus.)

2. The Guildable Manor. Lamb sausage, made with fresh mint, cumin, paprika, and coriander, grilled up before your eyes, thrown on a bun, topped with marinated halloumi cheese if you like, along with your choice of sauces. (Try the spicy Morrocan spicy chili paste.) Freaking unbelievable. Oh, and huge. 

Cheese toasties - not yet toasted - innocently
waiting to blow someone's mind.

3. Stu saved the best for last. This is the show-stopper, folks: Kappacasein. For the love of all that is holy, buy the toasted cheese sandwich for yourself and, perhaps, for any uninitiated passing stranger (who may subsequently feel compelled to hug you).

It is like the Holy Grail of grilled cheeses: Sourdough bread that houses your weight in cheese, chopped red onion, garlic, and leeks, then pressed to perfection on a hot grill and handed to you wrapped in a waxy paper.

Kappacasein's toasted cheese miracle.

It's a multisensory experience, people. As I was about to bite into this thing, the fragrance of the leeks and garlic hit me head-on. One of the best and most memorable things I have eaten in my life. 

Oh, and it's not over. Kappacasein also has something called a raclette: melted cheese over a pile of potatoes, sprinkled with a helping of spicy gherkin pickles. Presented on a small paper plate that weighs about a ton. (Yes, food coma pretty much set in halfway through this.)

Raclette madness.

Dessert? We couldn't squeeze it in after sharing all of the above, but we did buy some stuff to take away for later. 

Stop by the Cinnamon Tree Bakery stand and check out the treats on display. The dude working the stand had a splendid sense of humor, given that I was snapping photos and we were having him go through the trouble of wrapping our desserts separately.

Cinnamon Tree Bakery = Yummmm.

The orange pecan shortbread was fantastic (I devoured this later on with my afternoon tea, thank you very much). I also grabbed a flapjack to go - not a pancake, but a granola-y kind of dessert bar that resembles a Rice Krispies treat in a way. It was fabulous and not at all dry as you'd maybe presume granola to be. Super tasty.

Yes, we may very well have consumed four days' worth of calories apiece. No judging! All in the name of research, I say. You're welcome.